Friday, 3 October 2014

The Bachelor; true love or true fraud?

So the final of The Bachelor Australia aired last night and I painfully put myself through the last 20 minutes of torture. 

Anyone that knows me appreciates I like the concept of The Bachelor Australia about half as much as I like the concept of James Hird appealing the Federal Court's decision in Hird vs ASADA. I honestly don’t understand how The Bachelor has  gathered the following it has, especially amongst many females who are forever championing gender freedom and equality. One woman summed it up brilliantly on Facebook a couple of nights ago:
"I find this one of the most embarrassing programs ever produced. Embarrassing because there are clearly women that feel the need to gain self confidence by “winning” a man from other women so they can have their “prince”. The many bold and courageous women that went before us, paving the way for us to have the freedoms and equality that we take for granted, must be turning in their graves. Women have got a long way to go if they don’t realise that self-love isn’t about having to compete for a man, perform the best, win a competition, be the most gorgeous looking or have the best figure. And then buying into the nonsense that we’re victims when a man doesn’t choose us??"
Couldn't have said it any better. The show honestly reminds me of a polygamous relationship where the man has a hoard of women at his disposal and they have to compete against each other whilst somehow resisting the natural hurt and devastation of seeing other females with the man they love and have committed themselves to. But that is exactly what the concept of The Bachelor is about. 

So why is the show so popular, especially with women? Surely we can’t claim the show is about love. It’s as loving as a mother in law’s kiss. It certainly isn't about promoting women’s equality. In fact it is a downright slap in the face to every woman on the show. Ask Sam Frost, the "winner", about the love she had with Bachie… yes I said "had" not "has". Their romantic engagement didn't quite last to the airing of the final episode.

The unfortunate thing about this show is that it promotes a false notion of love and tries to affirm that love can be won through competition, looks, and a false sense of confidence. Since when does anyone need to enter a competition to prove them self to someone in order to be loved? Since when is love about choosing one woman from a bunch?  Since when is love about finding someone on TV?

The reality is, love isn't flashy, it's not about diamond rings and expensive dates. It’s not about whether you can wow someone by taking them to a beautifully deserted African plain, produce an expensive and glamorous diamond ring, whisper the standard words; “I've never been surer of anything in my whole life”, and exclaim to the world you’re in love days after kissing and dating numerous other women.

Love is summed up in one word: sacrifice. Love is about hard work. It’s about repairing inevitable arguments. It’s about putting yourself out for the other. It is about sacrificing for the good of the other. 

I wonder how many people would be glued to the idiot box if The Bachelor was a show about everyday home life, where husbands gave up their weekend golf game so their wives could have a day out with the girls. Would we be intrigued to watch wives cook a beautiful home cooked meal for their husbands, even if they couldn't be bothered cooking? Or maybe the Sydney Morning Herald and Mamamia would be writing article after article and teenage girls would post copious “OH MY GOOOOOOOD are they like for real?” comments on social media when one spouse got up out of bed to resettle their one year old son at 2am. 

As unpopular as that show would be, it would be a show that highlights what real love is all about. Sacrificing for the good of the other, ladies and gentlemen, is true love. The Bachelor is a counterfeit, a fraud and is an insult to true love and normal, healthy relationships. It sucks so many people into a false sense of authentic love and lessens the reality of what genuine relationships are actually about. 

Keep it real people!

All the best,
Dom Meese

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