Tuesday, 1 October 2013

From "sex sells" to the over sexualisation of women

I was walking down the street on Saturday evening when a group of young teenage girls walked toward me, heading in the direction I had come from. At first glance, and from a distance, they looked like a bunch of 18 to 20 year old girls dressed up for a night out. As they approached, I noticed they would have been no older that 14, maybe 15.
As they passed I was completely shocked. They were all wearing heavy makeup, were dressed in tight, short skirts or tight jeans and skimpy tops. One girl had her bra quite obviously showing and a couple even had high heels on! 14 year olds dressed to impress! I think one or two of them might have seen me shake my head in a moment of dumb foundedness.

As I continued walking toward my destination, I couldn't help but feel amazed, and quite frankly, annoyed, at the over sexualisation of women in our society. It has reached a point where 14 year old girls feel the need to dress provocatively. In summer, you can't go anywhere without seeing girls in shorts that literally don't cover their backsides or skirts so short and tight they struggle to sit down. While many guys will voice their approval, how good is this actually?

We've all heard the saying: "Sex sells". We can't turn the tv or radio on without hearing ads with sexual undertones. I heard a raunchy ad for an air conditioning brand on the radio the other day. Yep, even air conditioners are apparently sexy.

The butt of the majority of every so called comedian's jokes are all smutty, heard before lines with some form of sexual innuendo. Geez it's boring. For me, a decent comedian is someone who comes up with genuinely funny comments about everyday scenarios, rather than reverting back to the old faithful sex joke. Why are we so obsessed with sex and what effect is it actually having on us all? Since when do 14 year old girls dress provocatively?

It quite clearly filters down into our society. The attire of the young girls demonstrates this. It is also evident in the amount of marriages that are breaking down. How many tv "dramas" centre around affairs and short term sexual relationships? Even certain sayings are now off limits because of the sexual connotations associated with them. When I play golf with randoms at my golf club and say something to the effect of: "damn I hit that 3 iron well. Was trying to reach the green but couldn't quite get it up" I can almost guarantee you the crude response that would follow.

In terms of the over sexualisation of females, I must admit, in many cases it is the fault of us males. Females stereo typically look for friendship, love and support in males. They are searching for guys who will look after and protect them and provide romance and humour. Many males I know go out to find girls they can have a fling with, or sleep with, until it fizzes out and they find another "hot girl". Their minds are nowhere near providing friendship, love and support. They are seeking looks and sex and that's about it. In fact, a lot of guys will tell you as much. "I don't want to get involved in that emotional crap. I just want to get my rocks off". I've heard plenty of guys say words to that effect.

It follows that females then believe they have to be sexy to be attractive. Or that they have to dress a certain way to catch a guy's eye, or to be more popular than the next girl. Look at Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke at this year's MTV Awards. That was a classic example of a girl who has gone from cute and innocent (Hannah Montana) to, well, downright explicit. And there was Thicke, a married man and a father, lapping it up while every man and his dog with half a brain in their head called him a champion.

So many men use and abuse females. Women deserve the best in terms of respect, love and care. Come over to my house and see how good my wife is to me and our new born son and tell me she doesn't deserve respect.

I'm not saying all females fall into the trap, and I'm not saying all men treat women with contempt. But plenty do.

The over sexualisation of women has become so advanced we now glorify children in beauty pageants and make reality tv shows out of them. Seriously, what's wrong with us?

How do we reverse the culture of sexualisation? How do we make men respect women for more than their looks? How do we prevent 14 year old girls feeling like they have to dress like Miley Cyrus?

As sad as it is, I think women need to push back on men. Dress modestly and bring back some class. Personally, I think there is nothing better than seeing a female dressed elegantly and in an outfit suited to her physique and looks, as opposed to a female who follows the crowd and wears the same thing as every other girl (no girls, leggings on their own are not pants!).

If women push back and demand men to value them for more than looks and sex, I think we might slowly see a start to a reversal of this cultural trend. On the flip side,  guys need to man up and start treating women as they should. No you're not a real man if you score on a Saturday night and do the walk of shame on Sunday morning. A real man treats ladies with complete respect. He'd hold a door open for her or give her his seat on the train. He'd go out of his way to look after her and care for her. 

We need more real men.

All the best,
Dom Meese


  1. all this was predicted by the Pope Paul 6 in Humanae Vitae. The contraceptive mentality leads to it for a number of reasons .. the trouble is, for all the folk that will agree with you Dom, who amongst them will go off the pill or tell their kids to refrain from pre-marital uncommitted love (sic)?

  2. A perfect example of what you're talking about (including the caption): https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151717431287987&set=a.153626057986.115026.44273282986&type=1&theater